Monday, January 22, 2018

Monday Musings

Me-1968-69 (At least the hair is right for then!)

This girl had no real clue who she was or what she wanted to do.
If I'm correct in the year
I was a Freshman at Baylor University in Waco, TX
Majoring in Elementary Education.

Looking back I can only think of how much I let my parents have their way.
I went to Baylor-instead of Missouri.
Mostly, I didn't care too much about that I just wanted to go to college.
(Or at least didn't want to be a secretary-I had/have nothing against secretaries I just didn't want to be one and was a TERRIBLE typist.)
I think my Mom wanted the cachet of her daughter being a Baylor Belle.
I wasn't, a belle.
Mom thought being a teacher was perfect-got your summers off to stay home with the kiddos.
Never mind that I had absolutely no talent for the job.
Again, didn't much care but looking back I should have majored in Anthropology!
(I didn't even know what that was then!)

I pretty much did what I needed to and what everyone else wanted me to.
Now, I wonder where my teenage rebellion was.

After all the kiddos grew up I discovered that there is life after being a Mom.
And I didn't know what to do about it.
Then Larry became ill and died.
Since then, having much time to think and I've learned a few things about myself.

I'm a sensitive, empathetic person.
That means my feelings are easily hurt and that the hurt remains long after the event.
It also means that I "feel" the emotions of those around me.
And those emotions effect me.

I'm an Upholder-so if there a stop sign at 2am and the nearest car is no where in sight- I will stop.
So, there's where my rebellion went!
I follow the rules and other folks expectations.
(Thank you Gretchen Rubin for the 4 tendencies!)

Just recently I put another piece of the puzzle that is me together.
I have Inattentive ADD.
I have no sense of the passing of time-have learned over the years to set alarms and timers.
I tend to jump from thing to thing.
These two things are why I never finish a "To Do" list!
I'm horrible with people's names.
I'm always looking for things-working at putting things in one place!
I can and do hyper-focus on one thing to the detriment of others.

Wonder what the next piece of the puzzle will be?
Why has it taken me so long to figure this out?


Lin said...

I wish you well what ever direction you choose to take. xx

a good yarn said...

I guess it can be cathartic to look back on who you were and what you/didn’t do. At this point in our lives we view ourselves through a different prism. I went to uni for a year (didn’t enjoy it and left to go to work). I’m just a regular schmo, there’s nothing special a bout me or my life. I’m actually okay with that.

Chookyblue...... said...

we are contantly learning about oursleves and the world around us..........If we stop growing and learning what is the point..........