Hospice

Well, I called Larry's oncologist today and got him to goad the folks at the VA to contact Hospice. Two hours later, the intake nurse was at our house! Larry finally got out of bed about 4pm stayed up maybe 30 minutes and is back in again. He hardly ate anything today and is having trouble walking down the hall from the bedroom to the living room. Think we will have to use the wheelchair soon. Still not taking pain meds, says he doesn't want to be a zombie. That is his choice to make. There is a nurse on call 24/7 so I feel better as I have someone to call. There will be a nurse come a couple of times a week and also a home helper to give him a bath etc. I suppose I will begin to have better input once they really get started. I knows it just feels comforting to have someone to ask and not have to wonder if I should haul him to the hospital. The worst parts of this are the not knowing and the not being able to DO anything to help him feel better. Rob and I are going to remove and rearrange some furniture in our room so I can put an easy chair in for his company. I just keep shuffling someday perhaps I'll be finished--nah! Not in this house anyway.

Saturday

We had some very nice visitors this morning, Mary (from Embarq) brought her Mom and Sister to see Larry. Mabel, that's Mary's mom has sent Larry so many cards over the last year wishing him healthy and has wanted to meet him, he wanted to meet her also as the cards meant so much to him. We had a nice visit, Larry managed to be mostly present. The morphine is causing him to be more and more out of it and sleepy, dizzy, etc. So much so that it scares me. I just felt that he was taking such a small amount that he shouldn't be so out of it and that maybe he was dehydrated since he hardly ever drinks a whole glass of something so I took him to the er. They gave him iv fluids said his kidney function was good and his blood work good except for his INR--should be a bit over 2 and is 11. This causes a great chance for bleeding if he should fall. The doctor and I talked over admitting him or sending him home, he wanted to come home and I knew he'd rest easier here so I brought him home. The Doc and I also discussed discontinuing all his meds, other than pain, which apparently Hospice will do when they become involved. I think we'll do that and stop the morphine see if hyrocodone will handle the pain without all the grogginess. I also went to the grocery and bought a variety of drinks to try for taste, I did tell him to drink it like medicine even if he didn't like it! Calling his oncologist will be on Monday's list as well. Not much on my list accomplished!

Lunch and Fabric

Larry and I went for lunch with his pals from Embarq today. They are all being moved around or laid off with the Century Tel merger (sorry gang.) We've gone over and had lunch several times, usually we go to the Cheesecake Factory but today we went to Red Lobster. We took the Brown Bear Quilt to Tonya for her baby (we missed the baby shower--Larry was in the hospital.) I think she liked it, she cried! When we got back Larry took a nap and I sorted fabric. I have 9 -11 gallon sized boxes of fabric! Some of it may be from the 60's for sure the 70's and 80's--is that vintage yet? I'm sure I gave away/tossed alot of fabric when we moved from the big house and still I have 9 boxes! I still haven't added the fabric that's on my sewing table either. I do have some more sorting as I want to sort the cotton fabrics by color and fold the smaller pieces to fit into shoe boxes so I'll empty one of the boxes that way. I guess I need to cut some squares and make some scrappy quilts! Then I need to deal with the scrapbooking stuff and figure out how to shelve all this stuff--I have a shelving unit on wheels I had thought to use which I was then going to hide behind a folding design wall. I have to make a much bigger mess before I can finally clean up! I actually like these kind of projects, when I finish I can really say I accomplished something! Right now it's nice to have something I can control.

Wednesday wanderings

I noticed that my blog has become very depressing lately with all the medical stuff, a real life bummer! I will try and tone it down now, there won't be much to report anyway for a while. I am feeling much better today and am typing with both hands--although I keep hitting the cap lock by accident! I don't intend to shout. I have very little pain, just a tug now and again and I'm enjoying the challenge of doing things with one hand! Even though I am very right handed it's amazing how many things take both of them--like doing dishes, or pulling up one's pants! This afternoon I may take a nap on the basement sofa--my favorite napping sofa-- or not. I'll definitely begin sorting fabric. My current arrangement for sewing and research just isn't working well so I'm trying to come up with another, another room would be nice but totally impossible!

Fall is coming soon I think, unusually soon. I can't believe how cool this summer has been, one to remember and talk about! I only hope frost holds off until it's usual time. Fall is my favorite season, except for leaves-raking them that is, I love looking at them in their fall colors.

Carpal Tunnel Surgery

It's evening now and I think the chemical stew within is beginning to subside. Not taking any more pain pills as I don't like the way they make me feel--all wiggly and unable to focus without making myself slightly ill. Surgery was successful, Dr said I had a really thick ligament in there, whatever that means, I'm not to lift with that hand things over a pound etc, ice it, you all know the drill for a week then I go back to have the stitches out. Until then I have a lovely bandage on my wrist. I can still hold fabric and type etc plus I pulled out some boxes of fabric to sort so I shouldn't be bored. I'm trying to organize my sewing area and still bringing in things out of the trailer. Some of that will be on hold now but that's okay! Tonight more vegging and ice.

Report on Doctor's visit

Okay, we're home from the VA, finally, and I've had some lunch so I can tell everyone what's up. The news was exactly what Larry and I expected to hear-he has months, very few months. We saw the CT pictures and his liver literally does look like swiss cheese and the spots in his lungs are larger. Dr Allen found his liver larger than he expected on exam. The Radiology report is still not in nor is the biopsy report. Dr Allen said he doubted he'd have done a biopsy as he is 99% sure it is a sarcoma progression. The docs last week kept saying that a sarcoma wouldn't grow this fast but it can and did in Larry's leg so it can and did in his liver. Chemo is an option but it most likely won't help and could possible have such an impact on his immune system that it could shorten the time yet more or just make the time miserable. Unless the biopsy report comes back as something else we will be talking to hospice in the next few days. The end game is that his liver will fail and he will become unconsious and slip away. I'm not really phrasing this very well and I'm sorry but I can't think of anything better, Dr Allen was honest and I will be as well. I am still not at a point where I can talk about it much but I'll get there and will continue to focus on the next thing while we try to enjoy what time he has left. On that note Dr Allen said he could have all the ice cream he wants!

Today I made this in my front garden for the new bench Larry has made for me.














Then I turned these














into these 7 quarts of tomato puree for the freezer. Boy did they smell good while they cooked.















Then, I gave the dogs a bath. Nothing looks as sad or pathethic as a totally wet sheltie!